What makes me say that? Three incidents from today:
1. This morning Ella asked me to draw her a giraffe. I obliged. She took one look at my crappy drawing, took the crayon away from me, and told me, "No color mama."
2. When I got her up from her nap, she told me she wanted Laura (her babysitter) instead. Because Laura is fun and doesn't draw her crappy giraffes.
3. Shortly after the second incident of inadequate mothering, she informed me my shoes stink.
I'm looking forward to hearing the many other ways my toddler thinks I suck as a mom.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Productivity with and without a toddler
We decided recently to get a mother's helper. No, I'm not talking about booze (for once)- we hired one of Ella's babysitters to come by one morning a week so I can actually get things done around the house and run errands without having to wrangle her in and out of the car seat.
I thought before this morning there must be something inherently wrong with me because I can never seem to get anything done. Everything around the house seems to be in a perpetual state of being half-done. Some nights I contemplated the possibility of adult-onset ADD (not sure if such a thing even exists, but you know how crazy thoughts can get at 3am).
Here's what I typically accomplish in a morning:
-Shower
-Brush my teeth
-Get Ella dressed
-Make 5989038589 trips to the potty
-Try to wash dishes while simultaneously reminding Ella to tell me if she needs to go to the potty, telling her repeatedly that we only color on paper, and having to stop at least once to get her down off the kitchen table
-Occasionally go to the grocery store, which involves telling her she can't take things down off the shelves, that we sit on our bottoms in the cart, and oftentimes a reminder that we leave clothes on in public
Here's what I accomplished today:
-Meal planned/made a grocery list
-Ran all my errands (bank, drugstore, grocery store), which took a grand total of 45 minutes
-Organized all the papers in the study and organized everything in my desk
-Dusted the upstairs
-Cleaned the kitchen
-Went through my email
-Had time to go to the coffee shop, drink a latte, and read some of my book with zero interruptions
Besides getting things done, I feel about a thousand times more relaxed. That leads me to the more reflective part of this post. When hemming and hawing about whether to hire someone to come in to help, part of me felt like I was admitting defeat as a mom. Surely I should be able to deal with raising a child, housekeeping, and being pregnant without any help. After all, isn't that what most moms do?
A conversation at the playground with an equally-flustered friend made me think that, no, motherhood is not supposed to be about doing it all on your own. Childbearing and child raising traditionally has been (and in many parts of the world still is) a more community effort. It's only recently that moms are expected to take a solo approach. And let me tell you, I don't think this approach is healthy or is working. Every mom of a young child that I know talks about how she feels overworked, overtired, lonely, and frustrated. Every single one has talked about needing to take more time for herself but not knowing how to make it work or how to do it without feeling insanely guilty or inadequate.
What I really accomplished this morning was learning that doing something for myself is the best thing I can do for my family. When Ella wakes up from her nap, she'll have a mom who is refreshed and ready to read Curious George books repeatedly. Jim will have a wife who is happier and more relaxed- although I make no promises about not falling asleep on the couch tonight.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Hello, third trimester, we meet again
As of today, I am officially in my third trimester, and I figured since I haven't done a pregnancy update in forever I might as well do one today.
I haven't quite hit the huge as a house state yet but definitely have reached the point where it is getting harder to get up and about. Or maybe I'm just getting lazier. Sciatica has hit with a vengeance and I'm sure it's exacerbated by lugging around 20 lbs of toddler. Heartburn has re-emerged but so far not as bad as with Ella. Jim is being squished further and further to the edge of the bed and has to share not only with me but with my gigantic body pillow.
All in all, though, I feel like I have more energy than I did when I was pregnant with Ella. Then again, I'm only chasing a toddler all day, not TAing/working/finishing up a Master's degree.
I'm craving Indian food like nothing else. I probably could eat it every night of the week and be happy. Unfortunately I don't have the energy to cook Indian dishes every night. But tonight I had the brilliant idea of freezing some leftover bean masala so I can satisfy my craving without having to cook. Because honestly, by the time 4PM rolls around all motivation to cook is pretty much lost. Although that's not exclusively a pregnant thing.
The fun hormonal freak outs over having a baby have returned. I seriously don't remember having them with Ella but Jim assures me that I would randomly flip out about how I was not ready to have a baby yet with her too. This pregnancy it's more of a freak out over how I'm not ready to have two kids yet and don't you know that this house doesn't clean itself and everything must be organized before this baby comes else the world is coming to an end. The nesting thing is new to me because I never felt the slightest inkling to nest with Ella but with Schrodinger I have an insatiable desire to scrub cabinets.
And now, by popular demand (okay, by a demand), here is a bump picture for your viewing pleasure.
 |
| Don't mind the box with beer brewing in the background. Or mini Hugh Hefner rifling through my drawers. She refused to wear anything but a bathrobe this morning. |
Friday, June 28, 2013
18 month update
A little late, but I thought I'd still do Ella's 18 month update anyway. I still can't believe she is now closer to two than to one. I look at this wild girl running around and wonder where my squishy newborn went.
Stats: Crazy girl hasn't managed to put on any weight since her 15 month appointment, staying steady at 20 lbs and change. Meaning she has gained a whopping 2 lbs since she was 9 months old. I swear she eats! Although she is still in the peanut club for weight, she is in the 90% for her height- 33 inches.
Clothes/diapers/potty training: She is all over the place in terms of clothing size, mainly because of the big height/weight disparity. At least it's summer and she can get away with running around half naked (or, as she would often prefer, completely naked). Shirts and dresses are a mix of 12 month and 18 month, pants and shorts are mostly 18 month, and pajamas are entirely 24 month and 2T (!).
She is now almost exclusively in training pants or undies when we are at home, although she still wears a diaper for bed and will for a while longer yet. I've tried taking her out with only the training pants and even if she uses the bathroom before we leave and goes while we are there, she gets busy playing or looking at stuff and forgets to tell me she needs to go. So for now if we are doing more than running a quick errand she's still in a diaper. I'm sure all the potty training gurus think I'm messing up the process by taking her out in a diaper. Whatever. She'll get it when she gets it.
Teeth: With the oh-so-fun eruption of her first year molars, kiddo is up to 12 teeth. More than halfway through the baby teeth!
Food: I'll be honest, she's definitely not the world's best eater but by no means hugely finicky. She still can't have any citric acid and we found yet another food that is off the table- watermelon. Pretty much her favorite thing to eat right now is cheese, and she will take my hand and drag me over to the fridge when she wants some.
She also takes after her mama in that she loves to cook. Every day she helps me with some aspect of preparing food, whether it's stirring or putting the veggies I chop into a bowl. Now, if only I could get her to wash the dishes too.
Frustrations: On Ella's end, I think she gets frustrated that we don't always understand what she is saying. Part of the difficulty is that a lot of her words sound similar. For example, trash, dress, grass, and giraffe all sound almost identical. I have to use a lot of context clues to figure out what she wants. It's hard when she adds a new word to her vocabulary because oftentimes it's a week or more before I can figure out what the heck she is trying to say. For a while she kept on saying something we thought sounded like, "Hodor" (Game of Thrones fans will recognize that). Turns out she was saying, "color" and she wanted her art supplies. Oops.
On my end, the climbing wears me down. I turn my back for two seconds and she is on the table or counters. She also wants to walk a lot when we are out in public, but tries to dart away. I may have to get one of those toddler leashes.
In the past few weeks I've tried doing time out with her. She thinks it's a big joke. Either she runs away giggling or sits there and laughs at me. Yesterday I told her if she didn't help pick up the mess she had made she was going in time out. She looked at me and preemptively sat herself down. Clearly I'm a very stern parent.
Cute/fun stuff: I don't know how I can pick and choose from all the things she does, but here are a few of my current favorites.
-I love how excited she gets when Jim comes home from work every day. No matter what she is doing, as soon as she hears the garage door she stops everything, yells, "Dadadadada!!!!" at the top of her lungs, and races to the back door. She stands there waiting for him and even knows she has to stay behind the door mat so he doesn't accidentally hit her with the door. Once he comes in the house, she helps put up his lunch box and demands he take off his shoes.
-When the mood strikes her, she is very affectionate and gives lots of kisses- not only to me and Jim, but to her toys as well. She also has figured out the whole "boo boo" thing and demands about a gazillion times a day that I kiss the little scrape on her leg.
-She loves to color- or as she say, "holor." I have a cabinet in the kitchen full of art supplies and she goes in there multiple times a day to make beautiful scribble drawings for me. Sometimes she even tells me a certain one is for Daddy and makes me put it at his place at the table. Some days she also gives herself temporary tattoos with the markers or acts like they are makeup and gives herself some interesting shades of toddler lipstick.
-She's started tucking herself in at night. The past few nights when I've gone in to check on her she has her blanket over her, always in the same spot in her crib. One step closer to being ready for a big girl bed.
-She is still very into music. She loves songs that have motions to go along with them, like "The Wheels on the Bus" or "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Recently she has begun to imitate me when I sing her the alphabet. Her version goes something like, "ABCEEEEEEEE." Gotta start somewhere, right?
There are a gazillion other things I could mention but in the interest of time and space, and knowing that not everyone else finds them as endearing as I do, I'll stop myself. Happy 18 months, little girl- we can't wait to see what the next 6 months bring.
Stats: Crazy girl hasn't managed to put on any weight since her 15 month appointment, staying steady at 20 lbs and change. Meaning she has gained a whopping 2 lbs since she was 9 months old. I swear she eats! Although she is still in the peanut club for weight, she is in the 90% for her height- 33 inches.
Clothes/diapers/potty training: She is all over the place in terms of clothing size, mainly because of the big height/weight disparity. At least it's summer and she can get away with running around half naked (or, as she would often prefer, completely naked). Shirts and dresses are a mix of 12 month and 18 month, pants and shorts are mostly 18 month, and pajamas are entirely 24 month and 2T (!).
She is now almost exclusively in training pants or undies when we are at home, although she still wears a diaper for bed and will for a while longer yet. I've tried taking her out with only the training pants and even if she uses the bathroom before we leave and goes while we are there, she gets busy playing or looking at stuff and forgets to tell me she needs to go. So for now if we are doing more than running a quick errand she's still in a diaper. I'm sure all the potty training gurus think I'm messing up the process by taking her out in a diaper. Whatever. She'll get it when she gets it.
Teeth: With the oh-so-fun eruption of her first year molars, kiddo is up to 12 teeth. More than halfway through the baby teeth!
Food: I'll be honest, she's definitely not the world's best eater but by no means hugely finicky. She still can't have any citric acid and we found yet another food that is off the table- watermelon. Pretty much her favorite thing to eat right now is cheese, and she will take my hand and drag me over to the fridge when she wants some.
She also takes after her mama in that she loves to cook. Every day she helps me with some aspect of preparing food, whether it's stirring or putting the veggies I chop into a bowl. Now, if only I could get her to wash the dishes too.
Frustrations: On Ella's end, I think she gets frustrated that we don't always understand what she is saying. Part of the difficulty is that a lot of her words sound similar. For example, trash, dress, grass, and giraffe all sound almost identical. I have to use a lot of context clues to figure out what she wants. It's hard when she adds a new word to her vocabulary because oftentimes it's a week or more before I can figure out what the heck she is trying to say. For a while she kept on saying something we thought sounded like, "Hodor" (Game of Thrones fans will recognize that). Turns out she was saying, "color" and she wanted her art supplies. Oops.
On my end, the climbing wears me down. I turn my back for two seconds and she is on the table or counters. She also wants to walk a lot when we are out in public, but tries to dart away. I may have to get one of those toddler leashes.
In the past few weeks I've tried doing time out with her. She thinks it's a big joke. Either she runs away giggling or sits there and laughs at me. Yesterday I told her if she didn't help pick up the mess she had made she was going in time out. She looked at me and preemptively sat herself down. Clearly I'm a very stern parent.
Cute/fun stuff: I don't know how I can pick and choose from all the things she does, but here are a few of my current favorites.
-I love how excited she gets when Jim comes home from work every day. No matter what she is doing, as soon as she hears the garage door she stops everything, yells, "Dadadadada!!!!" at the top of her lungs, and races to the back door. She stands there waiting for him and even knows she has to stay behind the door mat so he doesn't accidentally hit her with the door. Once he comes in the house, she helps put up his lunch box and demands he take off his shoes.
-When the mood strikes her, she is very affectionate and gives lots of kisses- not only to me and Jim, but to her toys as well. She also has figured out the whole "boo boo" thing and demands about a gazillion times a day that I kiss the little scrape on her leg.
-She loves to color- or as she say, "holor." I have a cabinet in the kitchen full of art supplies and she goes in there multiple times a day to make beautiful scribble drawings for me. Sometimes she even tells me a certain one is for Daddy and makes me put it at his place at the table. Some days she also gives herself temporary tattoos with the markers or acts like they are makeup and gives herself some interesting shades of toddler lipstick.
-She's started tucking herself in at night. The past few nights when I've gone in to check on her she has her blanket over her, always in the same spot in her crib. One step closer to being ready for a big girl bed.
-She is still very into music. She loves songs that have motions to go along with them, like "The Wheels on the Bus" or "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Recently she has begun to imitate me when I sing her the alphabet. Her version goes something like, "ABCEEEEEEEE." Gotta start somewhere, right?
There are a gazillion other things I could mention but in the interest of time and space, and knowing that not everyone else finds them as endearing as I do, I'll stop myself. Happy 18 months, little girl- we can't wait to see what the next 6 months bring.
 |
| Being silly and dramatic- "Mom, stop taking pictures of me!" For future reference, I could have posted the picture of her climbing half-naked on the counter, so Ella, your teenage self can thank me. |
Monday, June 24, 2013
40 Week Challenge: Week Two Update
This week I sucked big time. I'm blaming potty training, as it was almost impossible to get anything done when 99% of your brain is focused on if your child is going to pee her pants. Here's what I did manage to get crossed of my list:
-The pantry: I feel like this one was almost cheating because I had about 75% of it done already. I had started organizing it when we moved it, got sidetracked, and never returned. Basically all this involved was pushing myself to finish a project I had already started.
-Junk drawer in kitchen: I cleared out all the junk. Spoiler alert: there was a lot of it.
-Clean oven, stovetop, and microwave: Pretty much self-explanatory. Also, am I the only one that thinks of Sylvia Plath every time I have to clean the oven?
-Half bath: All of Ella's bathroom reading material got put into a basket so I don't have to walk over her gazillion books every time I need to pee.
There you have it. I'm running out of little things on the list, which means at some point soon I will have to force myself to tackle the study and guest room projects. Cue thunder and lightning.
-The pantry: I feel like this one was almost cheating because I had about 75% of it done already. I had started organizing it when we moved it, got sidetracked, and never returned. Basically all this involved was pushing myself to finish a project I had already started.
-Junk drawer in kitchen: I cleared out all the junk. Spoiler alert: there was a lot of it.
-Clean oven, stovetop, and microwave: Pretty much self-explanatory. Also, am I the only one that thinks of Sylvia Plath every time I have to clean the oven?
-Half bath: All of Ella's bathroom reading material got put into a basket so I don't have to walk over her gazillion books every time I need to pee.
There you have it. I'm running out of little things on the list, which means at some point soon I will have to force myself to tackle the study and guest room projects. Cue thunder and lightning.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Potty Training Hell
I decided I needed a bit of self-flagellation, so this past week I started potty training with Ella. In case you have never gone through potty training hell before, here is what you need:
-A lobotomy
-Lots of booze (read: don't attempt this while almost 25 weeks pregnant)
-The willingness to read the same book over and over and over
-A fondness for being enclosed in small spaces
-The ability to put on your game face and act cheerful every time your toddler puts even a single dribble of pee in the toilet
Seriously, though, she is doing much better than I expected. We're on day three and today she only had one accident. I still have her in a diaper for naps and bedtime, despite the potty training book I read telling me I would ruin the process, because I know she is not capable of holding her bladder for 12 hours at night. Heck, I can't even hold my bladder all night, pregnant or not. Plus the fact she is still in a crib means it would be pretty much impossible for her to get over to the bathroom if she woke up and needed to go at night (read: mama ain't dragging her ass out of bed).
Despite the fact she is doing so well, it's been way more mentally taxing than I anticipated. The past few mornings I've woken up and thought about putting her back in diapers because it would be way more convenient for me. I know I need to bite the bullet and see this thing through to the end. But man, it would be better with booze.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
40 Day Challenge: Week One Update
Here's how I did during week one:
-The master bathroom: I managed to find two grocery bags full of stuff to throw away. I also consolidated things like the travel toiletries into one little bag so the next time we go on a trip I'm not digging through everything trying to find a 3 oz tube of toothpaste. Then I bought drawer organizers so I can see what beauty products I actually own. I'm a little embarrassed to admit how many multiples of things I have. I'm sure it's due to the fact everything was tossed into drawers/makeup bags and since I had a hard time finding what I wanted, I assumed it was out and bought more. Now not only can I see what I own, but I have room underneath my sink, an almost empty drawer, and more shelf space in the linen closet.
-Ella's closet: I put all the winter clothes/clothes she has outgrown into storage and organized all the clothes that are too big by size/type. The goal of this was two-fold. By putting way things that aren't seasonal, I don't have to sit there and argue with her that she can't wear fleece pants when it's 100 degrees outside. Then by organizing all the new clothes for next fall/winter, I can have a better sense of what she has enough of and what she actually needs. The problem I still face: ignoring the siren call of baby gap.
-Magazines: I went through our gigantic pile of magazines and put all the ones we don't want anymore into recycling. Then all the Brew magazines Jim wants to save went into magazine racks.
-Recycling: This is my most hated chore, which is why it made it onto this list. Our town somehow used to do trash pickup twice a week (we're now down to once a week) but we have to haul our recycling over to the center. I think it's a huge pain and discourages most people from actually recycling, which is a rant of mine for a different time. In any case, Jim loaded it into the car for me and since that meant I couldn't get anything into my trunk, I forced myself to drive over there.
-Back patio: Technically Jim took care of this (hey he got to it before I could!). We had a little family activity of finally finishing planting seeds in their pots, then Jim hosed off the patio and furniture and put the gardening tools/potting soil away.
How I feel after week one: Honestly, for all the work I feel I did I don't feel like I have much to show for it. I'm sure it doesn't help that the only big task I took on was the bathroom. Oh well. Hopefully I'll feel more accomplished at the end of next week.
-The master bathroom: I managed to find two grocery bags full of stuff to throw away. I also consolidated things like the travel toiletries into one little bag so the next time we go on a trip I'm not digging through everything trying to find a 3 oz tube of toothpaste. Then I bought drawer organizers so I can see what beauty products I actually own. I'm a little embarrassed to admit how many multiples of things I have. I'm sure it's due to the fact everything was tossed into drawers/makeup bags and since I had a hard time finding what I wanted, I assumed it was out and bought more. Now not only can I see what I own, but I have room underneath my sink, an almost empty drawer, and more shelf space in the linen closet.
-Ella's closet: I put all the winter clothes/clothes she has outgrown into storage and organized all the clothes that are too big by size/type. The goal of this was two-fold. By putting way things that aren't seasonal, I don't have to sit there and argue with her that she can't wear fleece pants when it's 100 degrees outside. Then by organizing all the new clothes for next fall/winter, I can have a better sense of what she has enough of and what she actually needs. The problem I still face: ignoring the siren call of baby gap.
-Magazines: I went through our gigantic pile of magazines and put all the ones we don't want anymore into recycling. Then all the Brew magazines Jim wants to save went into magazine racks.
-Recycling: This is my most hated chore, which is why it made it onto this list. Our town somehow used to do trash pickup twice a week (we're now down to once a week) but we have to haul our recycling over to the center. I think it's a huge pain and discourages most people from actually recycling, which is a rant of mine for a different time. In any case, Jim loaded it into the car for me and since that meant I couldn't get anything into my trunk, I forced myself to drive over there.
-Back patio: Technically Jim took care of this (hey he got to it before I could!). We had a little family activity of finally finishing planting seeds in their pots, then Jim hosed off the patio and furniture and put the gardening tools/potting soil away.
How I feel after week one: Honestly, for all the work I feel I did I don't feel like I have much to show for it. I'm sure it doesn't help that the only big task I took on was the bathroom. Oh well. Hopefully I'll feel more accomplished at the end of next week.
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