Be jealous

In a couple of hours, I will be leaving for the airport to pick up my awesome buddy Kristen from the airport (for proof of her awesomeness check out her blog, BeerCat Brewing. Okay, maybe don't, because it is way better than my blog and you will probably never want to read mine again afterwards).

I am beyond excited. Which is maybe a little crazy, because Kristen and I have never actually met before. We started talking back in the days when I actually had time to spend on The Bump instead of spending countless hours catering to Curious George's whims. In the almost 2 years (sob!) since Ella was born, I have met several other Bumpies and they have all been really fun people, so I am expecting no less out of Kristen.

We are planning on having as many crazy shenanigans as two moms, one who is hugely pregnant, can have in the middle of BFE. Stay tuned for a later post about our incredibly awesome weekend and be prepared to be super jealous.

My child is full of shit

Quite literally. And I couldn't be happier.

I had my last appointment with the perinatologist yesterday. Schrodinger's intestines look 100% normal. They are filling up with poop, which is indicative that they are functioning properly already. In the doctor's opinion, there are zero indications that there will be any problems after birth. All we need to do is monitor Schrodinger's digestion in the same way we would any other baby.

As nice as everyone was at the perinatologist's office, I will be more than happy if I never have to see them again.

Just nomming on my hand. 

A rambling, hormonal post

I really don't remember being so hormonal and weepy when I was pregnant with Ella. I'm sure Jim would disagree. This time around it's worse because on top of it, I have huge amounts of mommy guilt. I look at my (mostly) sweet toddler running around (naked) and can't help but think how having a baby is going to completely rock her world. I mean, she's not even quite 20 months old (okay, she will be tomorrow). She's going through a separation anxiety phase already- and I'm planning on leaving her, overnight, intentionally, with someone else when she is already feeling vulnerable.

Yes, I know she will be okay. She's going to stay with one of her best buddies. She'll probably have a blast and not even notice that I'm gone. Okay, she will notice that I'm gone. But she will survive. And chances are that I'll give birth in the middle of the night and she'll be asleep and not even know that anything is amiss for awhile. 

But the thought of leaving her for the first time absolutely breaks my heart. 

Part of the reason I was so adamant about getting a mother's helper was for Ella to get used to being away from me. She loves the days when she gets to play with her "friend" instead of boring old Mommy.

Then we have nights like tonight, where she just screamed, "MAAAMAAA!" on repeat. And then I think, "How the heck am I going to calmly leave her with that echoing in my mind?"

I worry that when I'm in labor, instead of focusing on how each contraction is bringing us closer to meeting Schrodinger, I will be focused on how each contraction is bringing me closer to the moment when I have to leave Ella.

I know at some point I will have to leave her overnight. I mean, she will one day go off to college. Before that maybe I'll let her go to sleepovers. And before that perhaps I'll go on a weekend away with Jim or take a trip with my girlfriends.

Just at this point my pregnant hormonal brain is not willing to let her go.

Yes, a real family lives here

It's been a rainy couple of days here in Oklahoma. Yesterday morning the forecast called for nice and sunny weather, so we made plans to go to the playground with some friends. Great idea- until it started down pouring. 

Enter a moment of toddler-induced craziness. I texted my friends and suggested they come over to the house instead for an indoor play date. 

Why was this so crazy? 

Because my kitchen sink was filled with breakfast dishes needing to be washed. 

Because the counter still had mail piled up on it. 

Because I hadn't vacuumed the carpet, scrubbed the half-bath toilet, swept the floor, dusted the house, picked up the playroom, straightened up the living room, and made a nutritious snack for the kids.

Because I didn't have any activity planned for the kids besides "let them run amok in the house and hope no one gets a crayon stuck up their nose." 

And because they were coming over in 15 minutes and there was no way my house was going to be perfectly clean and organized, a snack was getting made, or a toddler-friendly activity found on Pinterest.  

Yes, my friends were going to see that actual people lived in my house. They were going to find out that I'm not a perfect housekeeper. That some days my toddler gets Saltines that I have snagged from the last time we were at a restaurant for a snack. And sometimes the best activity I can come up with is letting Ella go to town with a sheet of stickers (it's good for those motor skills, right?). 

Believe it or not, the world did not come to an end. The kids still had a fun play date, and I know at least Ella was tired enough afterward to take a fantastic nap, which made the rest of the rainy day go by faster. 

It just goes to show that what Jim has been telling me for years is true- that I am my own worst critic when it comes to the house and being a good mom. Inviting people over without thoroughly cleaning and planning involved taking a major step outside my comfort zone. But had I not impulsively invited people over, I would have spent that morning bored and frustrated- as would have my toddler. Instead I got to share the tedium of a rainy day with friends. That trumps a perfectly clean house any day.  

These are too sweet not to share

Ella loves giving hugs and kisses to "mama's belly baby" so last night we tried to get a few shots of her in action. I love that she is so affectionate with her little brother or sister already, although I do wish that she would stop trying to pull up my shirt or dress in public. I wonder if she is going to be super confused in a few weeks when the baby is actually here and we have to stop referring to Schrodinger as "the baby in mama's belly."  

One sweet story about her love for the baby: When I went to check on her last night, she popped up in her crib and immediately asked after Baby. I thought at first she wanted her baby doll, until she pulled up my shirt to give one more hug and kiss to Schrodinger before settling in for the night. Let's hope she is just as affectionate and loving when Schrodinger actually arrives! 

Snuggling on the couch. I swear I own other clothes! 

Big hug for the baby

Mama's belly makes the best pillow