Toddlers say some pretty hilarious things. Must be some evolutionary adaptation because otherwise the near-constant whining and tantrums would ensure their demise. Here are a few funnies from our house.
-When Ella was being incredibly cranky, I told her, "Ella, you must have put on your cranky pants this morning." She vehemently insisted that she did not- along with the accompanying foot stamp. "I do not have on my cranky pants! I only has on my undies today!"
-She knows she has two different feet. One is the right foot. Naturally, the other is the wrong foot.
-She's very into categorizing anything and everything. Often on our car rides she will start naming everyone she knows and whether they are a big or little boy, big or little girl, or a baby. When I asked her what Mommy was. "You are NOT a girl." Oh really? "You are just a grownup." Apparently all adults are androgynous.
-On a similar note, she will list off all her friends and their siblings. "Haggy* has a baby brudder named Grant, Eeef has a baby brudder named Liam, James is getting a baby sister..." I'll ask her what she has. She will dramatically sigh and say, "I just has a Marian."
-One night at dinner Jim told me I looked very pretty. Ella piped up, "I'm not pretty." Of course my heart sank and I asked her what she was then, praying at two she wouldn't be saying ugly. Nope. She responded, "I'm just pretty whiny." Can't argue with that.
-Her bedtime prayer is, in my humble opinion, pretty hilarious. Jim and I have a hard time keeping ourselves from laughing. "In the name of the Father-Son-Shoulder Shoulder Not Chin Not Knees. Dear God, please bless Mommy, Daddy, Marian, Ella, my boys**, and my baby dolls. Help us to grow up to be good and kind and strong and smart. Please bless Grandma, Grampy, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our great cousins. Keep us all safe and well. Amen."
*Even though we have met some kids with strange names, we don't have friends named Haggy or Eeef- that's just how she pronounces them.
**Her imaginary friends, The Boys. According to Ella they are the size of her thumb. They get into a lot of mischief and like to hide in strange places, like my mouth, bra, or "arm-tits."