I try to avoid public restrooms like the plague. But between being hugely pregnant and having a potty-training toddler, sometimes they are unavoidable.
It's bad enough trying to cram yourself, your toddler, and your fifteen-ton diaper bag into a tiny stall, all the while keeping up a litany of, "Don't touch the toilet. Don't touch the floor. Don't touch the garbage. Don't flush the toilet yet. No I don't need the entire roll of toilet paper. Don't try and crawl underneath to the next stall. STOP DO NOT OPEN UP THE DOOR CLOSE THAT DOOR UP RIGHT NOW" while trying to do your business.
You know what makes it worse?
When your toddler decides to narrate what you are doing. Loudly.
In Ella's world, all bodily functions are called "poo poo." Doesn't matter what you are actually doing. And recently, she has started to grasp the difference between "big" and "little."
What does that mean for using a public restroom?
My toddler likes to loudly announce to everyone else, "Big poo poo Mama!" over and over.
On top of that, she likes to inspect my underwear and proudly tell me, "Mama undies dry!" As if I too, occasionally pee my pants. Then she looks up at me expectantly until I confirm that yes, mommy's undies are dry.
Now on top of the ick factor of using a public restroom, I get to add public embarrassment.
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