Tuesday, January 8, 2013

My Goal for 2013

There are days when I mope around, wondering what is wrong with me. Why is it that I constantly feel like I am never 100% happy? I have a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, and a new house. We are doing great financially, Jim is happy with his new job, and he is actually able to not only be home in the evenings but leave his work at work (which is huge for us- never before in our relationship have we had a time when neither one of us has had to do some sort of work in the evenings). We have a fantastic support network of friends and families.

So what, then, is missing? Why am I not able to be content with what I have, to be fully present in the moment, instead of anxiously thinking about the future and the things I don't have? 

Sometimes it's good to look towards the future. Having a goal and a plan is what enabled me to knock out my undergrad degree in less than four years and get my Master's degree in three semesters. The thought of owning a house is what kept me from indulging (too much) in new shoes or fancy lattes. 

But I think that being hyper-focused on the next big thing can also be detrimental. My whole life I've been the typical Type A, overachieving multi-tasker. I'm not content to sit back and relax. Yet I think sometimes I get so focused on what I want to do next that I forget about what I am doing now.

I don't want to wake up one day and realize that my kids are grown and I missed it all because I was too fixated on doing The Next Big Thing.

My goal for 2013, then, is to try and make peace with living in the present. To that end, I'm going to attempt to unplug from technology, make sure I do something silly with Ella every day, and take time to unwind and relax every day, even if it's only for a couple of minutes. Hopefully this is a goal that I can actually keep! 

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