Toddlers say some pretty hilarious things. Must be some evolutionary adaptation because otherwise the near-constant whining and tantrums would ensure their demise. Here are a few funnies from our house.
-When Ella was being incredibly cranky, I told her, "Ella, you must have put on your cranky pants this morning." She vehemently insisted that she did not- along with the accompanying foot stamp. "I do not have on my cranky pants! I only has on my undies today!"
-She knows she has two different feet. One is the right foot. Naturally, the other is the wrong foot.
-She's very into categorizing anything and everything. Often on our car rides she will start naming everyone she knows and whether they are a big or little boy, big or little girl, or a baby. When I asked her what Mommy was. "You are NOT a girl." Oh really? "You are just a grownup." Apparently all adults are androgynous.
-On a similar note, she will list off all her friends and their siblings. "Haggy* has a baby brudder named Grant, Eeef has a baby brudder named Liam, James is getting a baby sister..." I'll ask her what she has. She will dramatically sigh and say, "I just has a Marian."
-One night at dinner Jim told me I looked very pretty. Ella piped up, "I'm not pretty." Of course my heart sank and I asked her what she was then, praying at two she wouldn't be saying ugly. Nope. She responded, "I'm just pretty whiny." Can't argue with that.
-Her bedtime prayer is, in my humble opinion, pretty hilarious. Jim and I have a hard time keeping ourselves from laughing. "In the name of the Father-Son-Shoulder Shoulder Not Chin Not Knees. Dear God, please bless Mommy, Daddy, Marian, Ella, my boys**, and my baby dolls. Help us to grow up to be good and kind and strong and smart. Please bless Grandma, Grampy, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our great cousins. Keep us all safe and well. Amen."
*Even though we have met some kids with strange names, we don't have friends named Haggy or Eeef- that's just how she pronounces them.
**Her imaginary friends, The Boys. According to Ella they are the size of her thumb. They get into a lot of mischief and like to hide in strange places, like my mouth, bra, or "arm-tits."
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Ways in which my children are like dogs
Long before we even thought of having children, we had dogs. After lots of careful consideration, I realize that having dogs totally prepared us for dealing with two wee little beasties of the human variety. I present to you the similarities between my children and my dogs:
1. Dougal and Crilly LOVE playing fetch. As do Ella and Marian. Sometimes they even throw the ball for themselves.
2. They bring me random things that I can't quite identify and I'm not entirely sure I want in my hand, yet they look up at me with those big eyes and I take the mystery object and praise them. "Thank you for bringing me this lovely...SQUIRREL TAIL?! Is this seriously part of an animal?!" (For the record, this was one of my dogs. But the kids have brought me other equally gross things and expect me to be happy about it.)
3. Whether it's a child or dog, you spend a ton of time dealing with poop. And a lot of time hoping it's in the proper location- i.e., please for the love of God not on the floor or walls or some lovely surprise for me to find when I pull back the sheets to tuck you into bed.
4. Both canines and children have this lovely quirk where when they are outside, they complain and want to go in. And when they are inside, they whine to go out. Every.single.time.
5. They give me four very good reasons why my house is a wreck.
1. Dougal and Crilly LOVE playing fetch. As do Ella and Marian. Sometimes they even throw the ball for themselves.
2. They bring me random things that I can't quite identify and I'm not entirely sure I want in my hand, yet they look up at me with those big eyes and I take the mystery object and praise them. "Thank you for bringing me this lovely...SQUIRREL TAIL?! Is this seriously part of an animal?!" (For the record, this was one of my dogs. But the kids have brought me other equally gross things and expect me to be happy about it.)
3. Whether it's a child or dog, you spend a ton of time dealing with poop. And a lot of time hoping it's in the proper location- i.e., please for the love of God not on the floor or walls or some lovely surprise for me to find when I pull back the sheets to tuck you into bed.
4. Both canines and children have this lovely quirk where when they are outside, they complain and want to go in. And when they are inside, they whine to go out. Every.single.time.
5. They give me four very good reasons why my house is a wreck.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
10 month update
Super duper late and more like 10.5 months. Here's what the crazy baby has been up to in the past month:
Stats: Somewhere around 18lbs and 28 inches. Hey, you try measuring a moving target and see how precise you are.
Teeth: Still 4
Diapers: I'm very happy to report that she pooped on the potty. Total fluke situation where Jim caught her about to go and placed her on there to avoid having to clean a diaper. One small step toward potty training. By my estimate we have at least 3000 more diaper changes until that magical day.
Sleep: Even though I know I'm going to jinx it I'm saying it- she now has slept through the night a few times. Meaning she is entirely capable of it and doesn't really need to nurse in the middle of the night. She gets until October 6 to be up partying at all hours and then the harsh reality of sleep training is going to set in.
Food: Still an eating machine, although the nursing has dropped down a bit to maybe 10 times a day. Three solid meals a day. Pretty sure she eats way more than her big sister.
Words: New words include naners (banana), ah (yeah), mo (more), all-da (all done), and my absolute favorite, NO! Always said quite emphatically. Because it's way more fun if both kids are screaming, "NO NO NO!" at the top of their lungs.
Milestones: Full on walking. While we were on vacation she would take up to a dozen steps at a time but didn't seem inclined to do much more. Now that we're home, with the dogs to chase around, she toddles after them as fast as her little legs can go. Poor, long suffering dogs! She also thinks it is absolutely hilarious to stand up in the middle of a diaper change and run off with the (thankfully) clean diaper- usually with Ella chasing after her yelling, "Bare bottomed girl! Bare bottomed girl!"
Another milestone that's not quite as exciting as walking but cute nonetheless- clapping her hands. She'll sit there and clap her hands along to music or when she's feeling particularly pleased with herself.
Miscellaneous: She has started in on the Big Emotions of the toddler years. On the down side, this means throwing herself down on the floor shrieking when she doesn't get her way. On the bright side, this means toddling over to give us hugs and slobbery baby kisses. Heart melted.
Stats: Somewhere around 18lbs and 28 inches. Hey, you try measuring a moving target and see how precise you are.
Teeth: Still 4
Diapers: I'm very happy to report that she pooped on the potty. Total fluke situation where Jim caught her about to go and placed her on there to avoid having to clean a diaper. One small step toward potty training. By my estimate we have at least 3000 more diaper changes until that magical day.
Sleep: Even though I know I'm going to jinx it I'm saying it- she now has slept through the night a few times. Meaning she is entirely capable of it and doesn't really need to nurse in the middle of the night. She gets until October 6 to be up partying at all hours and then the harsh reality of sleep training is going to set in.
Food: Still an eating machine, although the nursing has dropped down a bit to maybe 10 times a day. Three solid meals a day. Pretty sure she eats way more than her big sister.
Words: New words include naners (banana), ah (yeah), mo (more), all-da (all done), and my absolute favorite, NO! Always said quite emphatically. Because it's way more fun if both kids are screaming, "NO NO NO!" at the top of their lungs.
Milestones: Full on walking. While we were on vacation she would take up to a dozen steps at a time but didn't seem inclined to do much more. Now that we're home, with the dogs to chase around, she toddles after them as fast as her little legs can go. Poor, long suffering dogs! She also thinks it is absolutely hilarious to stand up in the middle of a diaper change and run off with the (thankfully) clean diaper- usually with Ella chasing after her yelling, "Bare bottomed girl! Bare bottomed girl!"
Another milestone that's not quite as exciting as walking but cute nonetheless- clapping her hands. She'll sit there and clap her hands along to music or when she's feeling particularly pleased with herself.
Miscellaneous: She has started in on the Big Emotions of the toddler years. On the down side, this means throwing herself down on the floor shrieking when she doesn't get her way. On the bright side, this means toddling over to give us hugs and slobbery baby kisses. Heart melted.
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| The "I'm doing something I know I'm not supposed to be doing" look |
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| Cruising around the back yard |
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| We start them young. No reprieve on chores even for the baby. |
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| Lost in thought. Or, more accurately, wondering how much grass she can eat without me noticing. |
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| Playing with one of her best buddies |
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| Being a holy terror and ripping things off the shelves |
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
The amazing adventures of Hiney-nor and Ivy-nor*
*Recently I have been informed by my toddler that she and her sister are no longer named Eleanor and Marian. They now go by Hiney-nor and Ivy-nor. Although Stinky-nor, Poopy-nor, Stinky-roo, and Silly Goose are also acceptable names. Ah, the two year old sense of humor.
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| Argh |
While we haven't quite been sailing the seven seas, we have been on a whirlwind of traveling over the past few weeks. Thus the radio silence (although is it still called radio silence for a blog?).
I did have awesome intentions of doing a series of blog posts detailing our travels. However, the combination of travel PTSD, a crazy two year old, a baby who still refuses to sleep through the night, a massively overgrown garden, and you know, life, have sapped all my energy.
Here is a much-abbreviated version of what I was originally intending to write.
We drove from Oklahoma up to Chicago. Saw lots of friends, ate tons of yummy food, and visited some of our old stomping grounds. Went to a wedding, drank some awesome homebrew.
Next up: Flew to Big Sky, Montana for a conference. Went to the Museum of the Rockies to see dinosaurs, per Ella's request. Played around at the resort. Took the kids hiking one morning. Had some kid-free time while we ventured to the top of Lone Mountain (or the Lonely Mountain, as Ella called it- think there are dwarves?) which involved a ski lift, tram, then a gondola. Oh, and Jim did lots of science-y stuff.
From there, we had a whirlwind three days in Yellowstone. Despite having such a short trip we packed a lot in- hot springs, geysers, canyons, waterfalls, bison (or hippos, if you are talking to the toddler), elk, antelope, moose, a grizzly bear, a black bear, and wolves.
Yellowstone was absolutely amazing and I wish we had had more time to spend there. We're already talking about doing another trip out there. Along with the Grand Tetons, Glacier, Rocky Mountain National Park...
Then to top it all off, we had to fly back to Chicago and drive back down to Oklahoma. Phew! No wonder I am tired!
I'm putting a moratorium on family travel for, oh, at least two weeks.
We drove from Oklahoma up to Chicago. Saw lots of friends, ate tons of yummy food, and visited some of our old stomping grounds. Went to a wedding, drank some awesome homebrew.
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| Relaxing in the Shakespeare garden at Northwestern |
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| Running around near a freaky statue |
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| Ella thought The Rock was the coolest thing |
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| Chilling in the dinosaur footprint at the Field Museum |
Next up: Flew to Big Sky, Montana for a conference. Went to the Museum of the Rockies to see dinosaurs, per Ella's request. Played around at the resort. Took the kids hiking one morning. Had some kid-free time while we ventured to the top of Lone Mountain (or the Lonely Mountain, as Ella called it- think there are dwarves?) which involved a ski lift, tram, then a gondola. Oh, and Jim did lots of science-y stuff.
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| Mini golf at the resort |
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| Riding the bull. We had to stop and play with this thing multiple times a day. |
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| Mommy/Marian selfie at the Museum of the Rockies |
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| Hiking along the Moose Tracks path. Did see moose tracks. Sadly did not find any Moose Tracks ice cream. |
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| Jim and the kiddos, plus a walking stick |
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| At the top of Lone Peak |
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| View from the top |
From there, we had a whirlwind three days in Yellowstone. Despite having such a short trip we packed a lot in- hot springs, geysers, canyons, waterfalls, bison (or hippos, if you are talking to the toddler), elk, antelope, moose, a grizzly bear, a black bear, and wolves.
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| Playing by the water |
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| Hot springs |
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| Clearly not impressed with Old Faithful |
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| Afternoon nap in the Ergo amid the hot spring |
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| Middle Geyser Basin |
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| Hot springs |
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| View from Grand Prismatic Spring |
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| Grand Prismatic Spring |
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| Early morning waterfall view |
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| Yes, Ella is still in her pajamas. We got the kids up at the crack of dawn |
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| Looking at bison through the binoculars |
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| Family picture during one of our picnic lunches |
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| Mommy and baby moose. Supposedly there are only 6 in Yellowstone so we were super lucky to see two |
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| Hiking around the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone |
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| At the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone |
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| Upper Falls of the Yellowstone River |
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| Tuckered out after a long day |
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| Mom, Dad, and two tired kiddos |
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| Grizzly bear. In case you were wondering, this is very zoomed in on my camera- no desire to get close to a grizzly |
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| Our intrepid navigator |
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| Our lunch companions |
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| Super grumpy bison. It was mating season and all the males were feisty |
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| Playing around in the lake |
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| Hot springs by Lake Yellowstone |
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| Doesn't do justice to the amazing colors of the hot springs |
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| More hot springs |
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| Herd of elk running through the water |
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| Antelope |
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| Traffic jam |
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| Another traffic jam- everyone stopped for the baby bison that needed to nurse in the middle of the road |
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| Mammoth Hot Springs on our last morning |
Then to top it all off, we had to fly back to Chicago and drive back down to Oklahoma. Phew! No wonder I am tired!
I'm putting a moratorium on family travel for, oh, at least two weeks.
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