Ways in which my children are like dogs

Long before we even thought of having children, we had dogs. After lots of careful consideration, I realize that having dogs totally prepared us for dealing with two wee little beasties of the human variety. I present to you the similarities between my children and my dogs:

1. Dougal and Crilly LOVE playing fetch. As do Ella and Marian. Sometimes they even throw the ball for themselves.

2. They bring me random things that I can't quite identify and I'm not entirely sure I want in my hand, yet they look up at me with those big eyes and I take the mystery object and praise them. "Thank you for bringing me this lovely...SQUIRREL TAIL?! Is this seriously part of an animal?!" (For the record, this was one of my dogs. But the kids have brought me other equally gross things and expect me to be happy about it.)

3. Whether it's a child or dog, you spend a ton of time dealing with poop. And a lot of time hoping it's in the proper location- i.e., please for the love of God not on the floor or walls or some lovely surprise for me to find when I pull back the sheets to tuck you into bed.

4. Both canines and children have this lovely quirk where when they are outside, they complain and want to go in. And when they are inside, they whine to go out. Every.single.time.

5. They give me four very good reasons why my house is a wreck.

Quick garden update

Things are growing! Some a lot better than others. 

Here's the herb garden plus garlic. We let Ella plant a whole bunch of the seeds. You would never know, right? 

Some of our veggies are doing better than others. The spinach and radishes are doing amazing. I actually harvested a whole bunch of radishes after this picture was taken. Sadly, our broccoli had an unfortunate meeting with the toddler ("Here you go Mama. I pick BIG WEEDS for you!"). Right now it is still limping along. 

During my visit to Raleigh Jim decided to put in another bed. We have a few more tomatoes, peppers, and some extra onions in here. The chili pepper plants actually have some small peppers growing. Ella planted some pepper seeds which may have sprouted. Or they may be weeds. Too small yet to tell, although she insists they are her pepper seeds. Hopefully she's right! 

There's a whole bunch of stuff growing in the rock garden bed- onions, beans, carrots, peas, corn, artichokes, and I *think* some squash (next year we are labeling). And of course, weeds. Pesky little buggers.

We also got a pleasant surprise- raspberries! We planted both early and late varieties of berries and weren't expecting to get much of anything this year. Then these little guys appeared.

In other garden surprises- we have a family of robins! Ella found one of their eggshells yesterday and although we saw the nest, we couldn't spot any baby birds. The babies decided to put in an appearance this morning while the kids were playing on the swing set. I guess they got used to the racket and decided to peek out. We even got to see the mommy and daddy robins bringing them worms. 

Perched on our roof with a worm in hand- er, in beak

Feeding the babies

Yummy worms

Garden preview

It's that time of year again- garden time. This year we decided to significantly expand our little garden area.

Here's the original garden area:

With our soil it's pretty much necessary to have raised beds. Last year Jim meticulously built our first garden bed from rocks. It looks nice, but we- well, he- didn't have time for that this year. Plus we aren't entirely sure what we're going to do with the side of the yard and needed something less permanent. 

Enter in these two garden beds: 

The plan is to have one for herbs and one for more vegetables. If you're wondering what the black thing is in the back corner- that's our compost bin. I'm weirdly excited about composting. 

The planned plants for this year: 

-tomatoes

-cherry tomatoes

-squash

-zucchini

-onions

-carrots

-lettuce

-peppers (bell, jalapeno, and cayenne)

-green beans

-peas

-broccoli

-cucumber

-corn (well, maybe- we're looking into it)

-rhubarb

-spinach

-potatoes

-cantaloupe

-pumpkin

-parsley

-oregano

-basil

-cilantro

-rosemary

-thyme

-chives

-mint

-garlic

-turmeric

-ginger

-cumin

If that wasn't enough, we decided to put in a big long row of raspberry, blackberry, and blueberry bushes. Supposedly they do quite well in our climate. They don't look like much of anything at the moment. When we checked on them today, some of them were already getting some leaves. They won't produce anything this year but hopefully next summer we will have plenty of berries. 

There you have it. I'll post an update later when the garden is a little bit more interesting to look at. 

The pit of despair

Today, we are getting our very own pit of despair installed.

Sadly, it doesn't look like this:

Albino monk sold separately

It's actually just a boring tornado shelter. But obviously it's a lot more fun to call it the pit of despair.

Considering the time we've had so far today, I think my naming is pretty apt. The guys ended up hitting a water line while they were digging. Can I pause and ask, who the hell puts a water line under the garage? Because, ya know, if something ever happened to said water line, wouldn't it be vastly preferable to dig through grass instead of through concrete? The hitting of the water line meant that, along with having no water all morning long, we have to pay the plumber AND will have to pay the shelter guys overtime. Ugh.

Hopefully the pit of despair will be complete soon. And here's hoping we don't ever have to use the thing for anything other than storing beer.

Shaving cream fun

The past few days have been snowy and cold here. Well, snowy for Oklahoma. I'm not opposed to going out. Except that apparently our town has not heard of this magical thing called putting salt or sand down on icy roads, and most people here either drive ridiculously fast for the conditions or drive absurdly slow while taking up two lanes.

Okay, end rant.

Anyway, we are all getting a serious case of cabin fever. I had exhausted all my usual activities when I happened across an idea for shaving cream fun in Parents magazine.

Here's what you need:
-Shaving cream
-Food coloring
-A baking sheet
-Crazy toddler

Yep, that's seriously all you need

I plopped bits of shaving cream onto the baking sheet and added a few drops of food coloring to each. Ella then stirred them in.

It's very serious business

Then I let her go to town. She played with it for at least an hour.

The bigger the mess, the bigger the smiles

If you are really ambitious you can talk about what happens when you mix different colors together. 

If you are like me, you will take advantage of the time to have a few moments of peace and consider it learning by osmosis. 

Snow day photo dump

First snow day of the winter. Ella had a blast.

That face. You can tell she is up to no good. 

Parenting fail: when you try to get your toddler to catch a snowball and instead nail her in the face.

Jim put her to work already

Shoveling with Daddy

Warming up with some hot cocoa 

Pumpkin patch

You know you live in BFE when a visit to your local pumpkin patch involves driving a few miles out of town and going to someone's backyard (I can't make this stuff up). It probably was for the best because I'm not up yet to dealing with a huge commercial pumpkin farm, and because it was free, I didn't feel bad about not staying overly long. Ella had a fun time looking at all the pumpkins, although I suspect the appeal was more in that we had read about Curious George visiting a pumpkin patch. Marian was less than impressed. 

Family photo. Best of multiple attempts. 

Ella was fascinated with the bumpy pumpkins

Little pumpkin with the pumpkins

Love the mischievous look on her face 

Not quite sure what I was doing here but thought it ended up being a sweet picture

Unfortunately our nice family morning ended up with Ella puking all over her crib during her nap. I would rather deal with any other form of illness than puke. I thought we were going to have a massive meltdown at bedtime because all her stuffed animals are now in the wash. Not a peep about her stuffed animals, which is how I know she must really feel crummy. She did, however, try to tuck her little pumpkin into bed.

Dear Fall, Where are you?!

Dear Fall,

Where the heck are you? Did you miss the memo that it is September and not supposed to be 100 degrees out?

I would like to be able to go outside without feeling like I stepped into a sauna or burning my hand when I try to open my car door.

You know those cute sweaters and boots that are in my closet? Yeah, I'd like to wear them again (we'll disregard the fact that the huge pregnant belly isn't exactly compatible with them).

I have about a gazillion recipes for pumpkin-spiced things that I would like to try out. Except right now there is basically nothing in the world that can convince me to turn on my oven and heat up my house a single degree more. And remember my love for pumpkin-spiced beverages? You are hurting the economy by staying away. It's too hot for me to even want to indulge in pumpkin ice cream.

And do you know how hard it is to try and shave your legs at 9 months pregnant? Really, if you would just hurry up and get here so I can cover up with some sweat pants that would be great.

At times, my toddler forgets that she knows how to walk or that it is possible to sit anywhere besides my lap. I love her and don't like having to tell her it is too hot to cuddle with Mommy. She also doesn't understand why Mommy doesn't want to go play on her super cool swing set. Have you ever tried to reason with a toddler? It's not pretty.

Finally, the whole waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I am going to die from the heat thing is getting old. I want to be able to sleep under the blankets instead of cursing my husband for the insane amount of body heat he produces.

So get your act together and give the eviction notice to summer. Tomorrow I'd love to wake up and see a forecast that isn't going to make me cry.

Signed,

Someone who is sick of rocking the sweaty and gross look

Yes, a real family lives here

It's been a rainy couple of days here in Oklahoma. Yesterday morning the forecast called for nice and sunny weather, so we made plans to go to the playground with some friends. Great idea- until it started down pouring. 

Enter a moment of toddler-induced craziness. I texted my friends and suggested they come over to the house instead for an indoor play date. 

Why was this so crazy? 

Because my kitchen sink was filled with breakfast dishes needing to be washed. 

Because the counter still had mail piled up on it. 

Because I hadn't vacuumed the carpet, scrubbed the half-bath toilet, swept the floor, dusted the house, picked up the playroom, straightened up the living room, and made a nutritious snack for the kids.

Because I didn't have any activity planned for the kids besides "let them run amok in the house and hope no one gets a crayon stuck up their nose." 

And because they were coming over in 15 minutes and there was no way my house was going to be perfectly clean and organized, a snack was getting made, or a toddler-friendly activity found on Pinterest.  

Yes, my friends were going to see that actual people lived in my house. They were going to find out that I'm not a perfect housekeeper. That some days my toddler gets Saltines that I have snagged from the last time we were at a restaurant for a snack. And sometimes the best activity I can come up with is letting Ella go to town with a sheet of stickers (it's good for those motor skills, right?). 

Believe it or not, the world did not come to an end. The kids still had a fun play date, and I know at least Ella was tired enough afterward to take a fantastic nap, which made the rest of the rainy day go by faster. 

It just goes to show that what Jim has been telling me for years is true- that I am my own worst critic when it comes to the house and being a good mom. Inviting people over without thoroughly cleaning and planning involved taking a major step outside my comfort zone. But had I not impulsively invited people over, I would have spent that morning bored and frustrated- as would have my toddler. Instead I got to share the tedium of a rainy day with friends. That trumps a perfectly clean house any day.  

What is wrong with this picture*?

*Disclaimer: Not an actually picture because I am too lazy for that.

I'm sitting here on the couch, nice and cozy under a blanket, drinking a cup of tea and goofing off on the internet while my kid naps. As a nice added visual for you, I am wearing a very sexy pair of fuzzy pink socks.

You don't see the problem?

It's May. And it's 40 degrees out, with a chance of snow tonight. SNOW. In May. I will let that sink in for a minute. Reminder: we don't live in the Arctic. Or Canada.

Earlier this week it was almost 90 degrees. Ella and I hung out in her kiddie pool to cool off. I got slightly sunburned.

Mother Nature is giving us all the biggest middle finger ever.

I will cry if I wake up to snow tomorrow.

Operation Die Bugs Die

I killed my first scorpion this morning. I was vacuuming and kicked aside one of Ella's toys, and there it was, in all its mother-effing nasty stinging glory. Mama bear mode trumped my innate fear of bugs, especially the stinging kind. I proceeded to run it over with the vacuum then stomp on it for good measure, until it was completely unrecognizable. So unrecognizable, in fact, that I had a moment where I looked at it and wondered if I had freaked out over a twig or something (nope, definitely could still recognize its stinger).

I immediately called Jim and forced him to ask him coworkers about them. They claim they are no worse than bees. Great, except I don't want bees in my house either.

Operation Die Bugs Die has now commenced.

Snakes, and spiders, and mountain lions, oh my!

Sometimes I sit and wonder what the heck we were thinking in moving to Oklahoma. 

I kid you not, this is a conversation I had the other day at the playground:

Other Mom: "Did anyone tell you about the wildlife down here?"

Me: "Umm, like the cows? And coyotes?"

Other Mom: "No, about things like snakes," (okay, I can deal with snakes), "tarantulas," (yep, been there, done that), "and mountain lions." 

She and another mom at the playground then proceed to discuss, calmly, the mountain lions around here, in the same way that you might talk about your neighbor's obnoxious dog. 

Seriously, when discussing something that just might eat you, there should be some note of hysteria. Like, "OMG, did you hear there are mother-effing MOUNTAIN LIONS around here?!?!?!?!?!" 

I mean, look at this thing! It's saying, "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, because I'm a BAMF who won't hesitate to eat you."

Photo from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_lion
(yes, I did some extremely scholarly research on the subject once I got home from the playground)

Oh, and guess where one likes to hang out? 

Yep- our new neighborhood. 

I am never going outside again.